2,087 notes   ❖     ❖   26May12

• Hussie: Okay, so there are these kids.
• Hussie: And they play this video game.
• Hussie: And then it causes the world to die and turns their dead relatives into floating prankster game guides and propels them into a dimension where they have their own planets covered in dumb talking salamanders and crocodiles and then they die (no, really, everyone dies) and then they all come back to life again but there's also a lot more dying and floating dream versions of themselves in pajamas which are liable to also die and prophesied stone beds and also did I mention there are these other kids only these kids are trolls and they happen to be the gods and creators of our world and our zodiac comes from them and they live on a planet where there are four kinds of romance and sex is mandatory and involves buckets and instead of parents they are raised by wild animals and they have a version of the hunger games only it happens when they're toddlers and everyone has to do it to live and also DID I MENTION that there's time travel and alternate timelines and omniscient beings with cue balls for heads and oh by the way there's also a whole crew of black and green gangsters based off of the card suits and pool balls who murder each other whilst finding licorice in their hats and ALSO WOW DON'T FORGET the trolls and the kids actually talk to each other because turns out that somehow the kids managed to screw up their game by sending in a superpumped villain that was the result of the prototyping of one of the kids' pet dog which incidentally happened because of one of the trolls so damn whose fault is it really but anyway their successful game turned into ultimate failure haha although it would have been anyway because a mutant troll friendleader gave our universe cancer and did I mention our universe is a frog well anyway they all die too mostly from killing each other, you know the usual cliche death scenes of a blind roleplaying girl with a tongue fetish spearing a one eyed 8itch with butterfly wings and a pirate fetish with her cane sword on the roof of a laboratory floating on a meteor and the overused reanimated glowing fashion vampire chainsawing a genocidal forever alone fish alien on wizard crack in two or even the totes predictable part where the generally stoned and harmless juggalo alien runs out of pie and goes out to murder motherfuckin everybody but lol none of that matters btw because in the end the super intense game plan that one of the kids went grimdark for turned out to be a giant fluke and so instead of fixing the game they ended up hanging out together on an asteroid wrestling each other over capes and drawing penises in smut books and drinking blood coffee while two of the other kids played Ghostbusters MMORPGs on a floating ship shrunk by a narcoleptic furry between two windows in the house of the author who may or may not be dead because WAIT THERE'S MORE turns out there's gonna be a whole new game session with the guardians of the first kids in a reset universe as kids again only surprise surprise this game is doomed too and did we mention that the most serious of these new universe kids is a big Rainbow Dash fan and that another one is a drunken fourteen-year-old who gives pumpkins to a species based off of chess pieces and that by the way the two pairs of them are separated by about four hundred years and that the villain in their world is Betty Crocker and that a sassy big-haired fish alien princess has taken over the world and that the presidents are two juggalos who put everyone into death camps until a badass with a sword kills them both on the roof of the White House and then literally jumps on a skateboard and ollies out into space and that this is all legitimate history to be taken seriously as it actually basically killed off the world?
• Hussie:
• Hussie:
• Hussie:
• Hussie: And also I kiss Rufio from Hook.

554 notes   ❖     ❖   26May12

chunk-of-change:

Two Door Cinema Club - Something Good Can Work